LDS online dating

Online dating sites offer one option, but not all of them are geared toward who you want as a partner. Thankfully, there are LDS dating sites designed to connect Mormon singles for a positive dating experience. Here, we’ve rounded up the best paid and free LDS dating sites so you can find the one that’s right for you. The Best LDS Dating Sites Use our LDS dating site to meet local LDS singles online. Join LDSSingles.com now! Karen Bush. Ogden, Utah. Online dating is more common than ever before among LDS singles. A successful date starts with a good free dating profile. But just like with the church, it pays to be active on TrueLDS. The secret for LDS online dating is to have a profile that communicates clearly what makes you fun , interesting, and worthy of a date. All our LDS online dating free have sites screened manually by our team, offering you a online environment to interact with other LDS singles. Online dating singles more common than ever before among LDS singles. A successful date starts with a good online dating profile. Best just dating with the church, it pays to be active on TrueLDS. A social and dating site for LDS singles - Features Compatibility Profiles, chat, interest groups, messaging, a number of powerful search tools, and more. Founded in 2000 by People Media, a well-known niche online dating network, LDSPlanet is one of the longest-running and most trusted LDS dating sites.It’ll only take you two minutes to create an account and begin browsing millions of profiles of like-minded and like-valued men and women. With Online Latter-Day Saints Dating, you will enter into a world of singles that are looking for others with similar beliefs for dating, love, companionship and much more. With hundreds from all over already signed up and ready to go, you will love the selection of people and will not want to go to any other site. #1 Online LDS Dating. If you are an LDS single, and you dream to find your perfect match, then, OnlineLDSDating is the right place to be. In Online Latter Day Saints Dating, what you will find is a large community of singles who are hoping to date someone who shares the same beliefs when it comes to companionship, friendship, love, and more. The secret to LDS dating. Online LDS dating is more common than ever before among LDS singles. A successful date starts with a good LDS dating profile. TrueLDS offers single latter day saints easy and fun way to interact with other single Saints. But just like with the church, it pays to be active on TrueLDS. Mutual is the world's most popular dating app for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (known as LDS or Mormons). Available for free on iPhone + Android. The services offered by Mutual LLC are neither made, provided, approved nor endorsed by Intellectual Reserve, Inc. or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Sharing the gospel with affair partner

2020.10.16 01:04 MN_girl80 Sharing the gospel with affair partner

About a month ago I found out my husband of 20 years was having an online emotional affair with a Ukrainian woman that went on for about 2 months. There was nothing sexual from what he has told me, but he said he did have real feelings for her and said they told each other that they loved each other. The affair has since ended and we have been meeting with our Bishop and a counselor on a regular basis and things have gotten a lot better in our relationship so far. My husband has told me that he realizes he really didn't have the feelings he thought he did for this woman it was more that he was filling a void he felt in our marriage and dealing with the stress of what was going on in our lives. But since the affair has ended he still worries about this woman some because of the position she is in (making money by talking to men online, kind of like a dating site in the Ukraine), but he is especially worried about her little girl and her going into the same things her mom is doing as she grows up. My husband does a have big heart when it comes to those he feels like need the Gospel in their lives (he actually helped with my conversion and baptism) and he has been emailing this woman trying more to befriend her with the hopes he can lead her to the Gospel and a better life. I have known about this and agreed to the communication in the beginning which has been going on for about a week or so. So far he has shared all their emails with me, but I am still dealing with trusting him again and I am very anxious about this situation. I don't want to dash his hopes or get in the way of someone receiving the Gospel given my own experience as a convert, but I am still somewhat scared for my marriage. We told our counselor (who is also LDS) about the situation and he basically told my husband "you are walking in a mine field." I have told my husband I am nervous about the situation and he just asks that I pray about it when all I really want is for it to just go away. Any advice from a different perspective would be so helpful to me!
submitted by MN_girl80 to latterdaysaints [link] [comments]


2020.10.12 18:56 Waylos4 Looking for advice as a complicated and introverted young man who struggles with socializing, dating, and feels too different and lonely

Hello! After months spent quickly browsing this subreddit and related ones, here I come to discuss some issues which have been a bit overwhelming me and on my mind for a while.
I'm a 19-year-old male student from France and I'm roughly your typical socially awkward and shy introvert, though I did a lot of progress as opposed to middle school me, which means I overthink less and am able to approach almost anybody. But then the first problem arises when I... "can't" continue a conversations or create a bond of friendship. And that I'm in great need of me-time.
Another issue is my non-existent dating life. I've never been in a proper relationship, aside from two very short-lived LDRs which nonetheless taught me a lot, and I'm a bit clueless about relationships.
I'm too candid, having been quite socially isolated most of my life, and not subscribing to my peers' widespread culture and way of thinking. It's very hard for me to get along with boys and (slightly less) with girls my age, and I haven't made a single meaningful friendship IRL for around three years.
I not only meet very few people, but I also have grown used to socializing on the Internet as it's the only place I've really found people to relate to, and it's been this way since I left middle school, after losing my group of good friends. I was terrible with girls and I can't count the number of embarrassing moments and rejections I've had, though I learnt my lessons.
High school was where changes happened: for the first time, some girls were attracted to me, I could talk to anybody, I was more or less appreciated despite my big differences. However, I just couldn't do anything but... reject them, and isolate myself more; even from my "friends" with whom I shared almost nothing in common.
Quarantine gave me a lot of time to ponder and I discovered so much about myself, whilst also working on some personal issues and improving myself. I feel good about myself, I like myself and work on more self-love, I feel a bit attractive even.
Yet I feel like nothing will ever happen. I've been in college for six weeks and have made more efforts to socialize than I have in three years of high school, and I feel... lost. I did meet people. Made two good acquaintances and even approached a girl with whom I met a few more times. Approached friendly strangers on campus. Got information about social events and academic societies to meet more people.
But I can't feel connected, I can't get along with them, and it feels exhausting, boring, useless. As I'm writing this, I've been isolating myself for a whole day because it makes me feel good and I rejected the offer of my acquaintance to attend a jazz concert. I don't even want to see him anymore. Him always discussing "hot chicks" and immature nonsense is too much for me. The girl I seemingly get along well with is quite introverted too but she doesn't seem that interested in seeing me (in a friendly way) and I actually want to avoid her because, again, I don't feel that connection.
I found out this: it seems that I literally can't get along with the locals. But I also found out I act too differently and I'm too complicated (as said my female best friend as well as one of my exes). I don't "work" like other Frenchies and I almost only get along well with female foreigners, as I can rarely stand boys due to their usually widespread bullshit attitude, online or IRL.
That said... I also have gotten along greatly with older people since I was 12 or 13, when teachers, family, and even strangers would say I was very mature for my age. It's almost always been this way, to the point I've been considering dating older women just because of maturity, as I don't really connect with people my age (sometimes even the like-minded ones). Most of the deepest discussions I've had were with older people (mostly women) and I once developed a very strong friendship with a woman 12 years my senior.
But then I still don't know where I could find older and like-minded people IRL, when I have no money to spend and struggle with creating bonds. Also, when it comes to dating, I'd really really want to experience love and a serious relationship but on the other hand I'll be leaving France in two years, to settle in another country for projets and further studies, so obviously it's a threat to a potential LTR, and my differences might be a problem as well (as I could see with my failed [LD]Rs), like my lifestyle (mostly tailored for me, like my comfy cocoon), my attitude towards sex (I've never had a sexual education, I'm candid about that, and I'm afraid of it), my awkwardness, etc... though I'm aware of my qualities (I exactly know why my exes fell for me and why many adults like me) and I feel somehow ready to try but not online (OKC and some other apps disgusted me quickly).
I apologize for this very long and messy message. I needed to vent out. Though I'm comfortable with my life, I've been blooming, and I'm quite okay overall, I feel too lonely as well, I want to experience love and have like-minded friends, though it almost sounds like so impossible... Thanks for your time. Please tell me your impressions, advice, anything on the matter.
submitted by Waylos4 to dating_advice [link] [comments]


2020.10.12 18:53 SalazarsHands Feeling Strong Imposter Syndrome. Need a Reality Check.

Hello, fellow Sysadmins,
As the title above states, I'm in need of an honest reality check from fellows in the field to see if my head is screwed on right.
I've been at my company for the last three years. I started on the help desk and worked my way up as the Windows System Admin after two years.
In the last year, I've done what I felt is a lot. I feel like my work has exceeded my title and pay. I feel that my title should be Windows System Engineer and not Admin, as well that I should be getting 100K in pay.
I just learned that my company isn't giving out raises this year, so there is no way for me to argue that jump. I'm thinking about finding a new job because I could really use the pay increase.
However, the more I look and the more I think about it, I feel like I'm way over my head. I'm starting to think that maybe I'm jumping too ahead too quickly and my skill set isn't that of a Systems Engineer.
Let me break down all that I've done over the last three years.
As I've stated above, I've done quite a bit over the last year. But I'll admit that I wasn't the one pushing for any of these things. That was our Systems Architect. Also, while I've done a lot, I feel like I'm still lacking in a lot of skills like:
So I don't really know. I feel how I did about a year and a half ago when I was just helpdesk. While I did do some things that I felt made me a sysadmin (Like create AD accounts and such), looking back, I would have no been qualified to take a sysadmin job at that time. Now I'm starting to think I'm doing the same thing and that I'm not really qualified to work as a Systems Engineer at another place.
So, Windows Systems Engineers, tell me what you think? Based on what you do day to day, does it look like I need to build up my skillset before making that jump?
TLDR: Here is what I've done over the last year should I even consider applying for a Windows System Engineer job?
submitted by SalazarsHands to sysadmin [link] [comments]


2020.10.10 13:35 crkachkake It's funny to me that anti-mormon literature didn't cause me to leave the church, it was mormon church literature that made me leave

I have a friend that is a mercedes-benz auto tech. He gave some great advice years ago. He said that if you want to buy a certain car, then go online and research all the recalls made by the manufacturer. Then you can decide if that make and model has been a good one. Amusing that when i did that with my church there were too many so-called "recalls and red flags". See, i didnt have to go to a competitor to learn of my church's bs, i could just read it right from the historical documentation. It was right there all along. Thanks Internet! Im free from the bullshit now. I think what i feel most now is that weird form of regret that i wish that i had this info years ago. I wouldnt have gone on a mission, or only dated lds women, ad infinitum
submitted by crkachkake to exmormon [link] [comments]


2020.10.10 03:52 lemonade1010 Is there any official church rule on dating before a divorce is final?

I'm in my 20's and currently in the process of divorcing my abusive husband after 4 years together (no kids). We have been separated since early this year, and the divorce papers were signed over the summer. The court date when the judge grants the divorce is later this month, and then there's nothing left to do except wait several more months for the divorce to be final (due to the waiting period in my state, which is longer than most).
Emotionally, I feel 100% ready to start casual dating again. I feel like I have been separated from him for long enough and I am sufficiently healed from the trauma he put me through. I'm young, attractive, smart, and overall I think I have a lot to offer in the dating world, and I already wasted 4 years of my life on him. To wait several more months to start dating again just because there is a long waiting period in my state honestly just feels like one more way he is controlling my life for longer than I would like him to. I feel like I don't owe him anything at this point. Is that so bad of me to say? I just want to get on with my life and date again.
That being said, I'm trying to figure out whether this is okay from a church perspective. Throughout this process nobody has given me any clear guidance on whethewhen I am allowed to start dating again. I've been searching on the church website and online support groups for LDS divorcees, and I can't find a clear answer anywhere. Does this mean it is one of those things where it comes down to personal revelation and using your best judgement? A lot of you are probably going to say that I should ask my bishop about this, and I am considering that. My hesitation is that I'm not sure I trust my bishop's judgement on this, because when I first came to him many months ago telling him about my husband's abusive behavior, he at first seemed to think it wasn't "that bad" and that I should try harder to keep my husband happy. So I'm not sure how I feel about letting him be the one to decide this for me.
(In case any of you are going to say "It's a bad idea because he could find out and get mad and make the divorce more complicated legally" - I'm not worried about that. We live in different states now and he doesn't really have any friends where I live. So there wouldn't really be any way of him finding out. So I'm not wondering about the legal perspective here, only the church perspective.)
submitted by lemonade1010 to latterdaysaints [link] [comments]


2020.10.01 03:28 basylica Im scared and in my head

Ive legit never been on a date-date. My first BF ever was long distance and we chatted over ICQ (still remember my number! Lol) for like a year before we met. Id never held hands or kissed anyone at 20. Next guy was my ex. Kinda online, he suggested his company as i was looking for job, hit off at work. We divorced 13yrs ago.
Since then ive had 2 LD FWB things but its been like once every couple years type deal. Appealing for a number of reasons.
I had what could possibly be construed as dates but more hang out with friend i worked with (out of town) for a meal but there was undertone to it. Def not called a date though.
I have 90% custody of 2 now teens, work a super demanding job that friday i may end up having to stay until midnight or come in and work all weekend with zero warning. I tend to work 80+ hour a week jobs, and my schedule is almost non existent and my free time is kids, sleeping, showering. Lol.
Im not a workaholic or die hard career person, but after a lifetime of financial insecurity and instability i am driven to be supergod worker so i wont be thrown off.
I want a man. Not because i need one, i enjoy companionship and lord knows most teens have had more sex than me (my ex and first BF my only real relationships both turned me down nightly, sometimes mid BJ) and i rather enjoy sex.
I just have this abject terror (im introvert with ADD so i overthink and social interactions are scary still) of even what one does on a meet for coffee date. Ive met vendors for coffee. Lol, thats about it. My wardrobe consists of nerdy Ts and jeans and id feel silly in anything else tbh. Then i delve into... i only am sans-kids 4 nights a month and often i end up working those weekends, late nights....
And i cant imagine anyone putting up with my schedule. I wouldnt want to.
My super limited experience was moving to be with first BF and living with him, and spending nearly every night with my ex after we started dating and i certainly cant do that now. I have to take kids to band and deal with homework and cook dinner and etc etc
So long distance FWB was compromise as once every few years id meet with said person over extended period without kids, have a couple days together and no further commitments needed.
Sure ONS could be similar but im really not attracted to a person until i know them fairly (really) well.
All this is whirling in my head because a guy i met online like 6ish, maybe longer years ago is one of those “lets not chat, lets meet” people and i hit panic button and shut down. He also struck me as someone wanting lots of time and that seemed wrong. He has similar aged kids and custody of one, and we remained fb friends.
He dated someone, was engaged, and is single again and was giving me shit about shutting him down and strongly suggesting we meet for coffee....
And my internal dialogue is on overdrive. Seriously, no idea how to do dating (even if i had normal job and no kids) but added variables... im messed up over it.
I dont have girlfriends and my guy friends dont have custody (single) and assume guys line up around block to date me, which is certainly not true (to be fair though, im dense and positive ive missed heavy hints a few times in the past)
They are no help. Hahaa.
submitted by basylica to datingoverforty [link] [comments]


2020.09.29 17:27 JMichelleK A year (and a day) since baptism

Tldr at the end
Hey everyone, I know this subreddit has a lot of investigators who watch and with every member a missionary I figured I should tell me story. I've told bits of my conversion story in various posts and comments, but I feel like it might be able to help other investigators by seeing they are not alone and help people who go out with missionaries to teach see that not every investigator is an easy 1 month to baptism.
I started attending church when I was 16. I was raised atheist and lied about where I was going for the first 6 months. I finally told my parents and they were confused why I was going to church, they don't hate the lds church any more then they do any other church, but they were often passive aggressive. I dated my friend who I was going with for a few months until he went off to byu. That relationship didn't end well, but that was my fault. I didn't take missionary lessons for my first year because they wouldn't teach me without my parents permission because I was under age, and I never dared ask my parents.
When the ward got pink washed I was 17.5. The sisters taught me once or twice. I never really believed in church, I just enjoyed being with my friends. April my senior year I quit going, I had a school trip, then it was mothers day, then I got a job and started working Sundays. So I stopped attending, we had a senior Sunday thing where we invited a teacher and recognised the wards seniors. I didn't really want to go, but the young women's president was relentless that I did. (I feel it good to add she knew I wasn't a member. My friends and most of my teachers knew I wasn't a member, other members in the ward though thought I was because I attended so regularly).
So at senior Sunday I went, it was fairly fun and the missionaries were there so I learned who they were, we were back to elders. I got another job and turned 18 during the summer. My other job was at a location the missionaries came about once a week. I was working one day and they came in, one of them was still one I met in May. While they were learning some info the one who knew me came over and talked with me. He remembered me and asked where I had been and such. It felt really good to be missed, so after talking to my boss from job 1 I stopped working Sundays and started attending again. After a couple weeks I started taking lessons from them.
At lesson 1 they tried to get me to commit to baptism, after some pushback I agreed to the second Saturday I would be off at college. We had a handful of lessons and I moved off to college. They continued teaching me online, but then transfers happened and I did not get along with the new elder. I felt like he was always belittling me, so I canceled the baptism. They got tired of teaching someone who wouldn't get baptised (I dont blame them) and so they tossed me over to the missionaries in which I was now in the area of being off at school.
A few weeks prior to that I decided to go to church, but I dont have a car at college. And being in a location far outside Utah the nearest ward to me is a 20 minutes drive...or a 3 hour walk. So I got up at 5 and left my dorm about 5:45 with a change of clothes in my bag and a map in my hand. I was honestly excited and having a good time. Until the police picked me up at about 7. Someone called the police because they thought I was a runaway. After providing id and an explanation the cop drove me the rest of the way and told me to have a friend drive me back.
So fast forward and I am meeting with the missionaries from the ward I walked to. They found a member who lived near by to give me a ride and I attended that ward for about 10 months. The missionaries would use me to get free food from members like hey y'all should have this investigator over and us too. I hated it, but at one of the houses they had another lady over and she lives near my university as well. She has a son who goes to the ysa branch (I had been once before). She and I talked and she started having her son give me rides to FHE and he would offer to take me to institute and church at the YSA, but I stuck with the home ward. (This occurred in January 2019)
From January to April the missionaries would call me about 5 days a week for anywhere between 1-3 hours. This was a lot for me to deal with and I was taking 19 hours at school at the same time. When one of the missionaries transferred at the end of March and the frequent lessons continued I tried to stop. They pushed back and it made me uncomfortable. This was about conference time when they highlight personal revolution and so I told the missionaries you have done your job and taught me everything, now I just have to decide for myself and I dont want to meet any more. They still tried to get me to meet with them and it made me uncomfortable.
So I being the mature adult I am quit attending my family ward and started attending the YSA. Apparently there was some fallout the missionaries received from the ward mission leader but I couldn't take it. After a few weeks I agreed to have lessons but only once a week for a max of an hour.
When school ended and I went home I continued to attend the YSA. I went out with a couple of guys in the YSA since I started attending, and had a couple more ask, but being a non member I felt bad going out with them because most of them didnt know.
I moved back to school in August 2019 and although I had a car I continued riding with the one guy. He started asking when I was going walking so he could walk with me. We went to a couple of game nights at our friends house and in early September he asked me to be his girlfriend, even knowing I was a non member. By this point I was 19 and had been attending for 2.5 years, I realized I have learned all I can but if I had the gift of the holy ghost I might be able to progress. So I decided I wanted to get baptized.
Problem, I dont have faith. And I wanted to get baptized in the family ward near where I go to school because they had elders and the ysa had sisters and sisters really got on my nerves by always hugging me and saying how awesome I am and stuff like that. However the elders were like district leaders or zone leaders or something like that, which meant the APs had to interview me. But the APs were 3 hours away and they didn't think I was worth wasting the miles on because I didnt have faith. (That one made me salty, I had actually known one of them though, never taught me, but I had met him a couple times).
So this meant if I wanted to get baptized I had to be interviewed by the mission president. Now that was really anxiety inducing for me. So we set up a date for me, my boyfriend, and the elders to all go up to the mission home so I could be interviewed. We went and the guy didnt ask me any questions, I guess the missionaries had told him about me and my story, so he just talked to me. I don't think I said more then a couple sentences the whole time. He would say things like now if you didn't have faith why would you try and walk to church and stuff like that. At the end he said I think you have faith,so how about we get you baptized.
We got a date set for the Saturday a week before conference. My then boyfriend (now fiance) baptized me. The branch president from the YSA came along with a few of my friends from each of the wards and branches I had attended. The missionaries hadnt talked to me at all the week of my baptism. Which heads up to future missionaries, don't do that! I was lucky I thought to bring a towel and my boyfriend told me to bring a change of underwear.
So fast forward to now. What has changed?
Well I got engaged last December and we are hoping to get married in June. I am both the linger longer coordinator and relief society assistant Secretary in my YSA (not that I have done either of those for over 6 months now). I did baptisms for the dead once, that recommend was another where I gave my answer and the branch president interpreted it how he thought I was. I still have many doubts and I don't have faith, but I also don't feel the spirit either. My fiance is hopeful things will get better after we are married, because I will be out of my parents house during breaks from school. My family doesnt know I joined, but they are still just passive aggressive about religion and the lds church. They ask me questions like "have you even seen your fiance's back before I know you went swimming but doesn't he have to wear his Mormon underwear all the time?" And stuff like that.
I read my scriptures daily, but I havent taken the sacrament in 6 months. Some days are harder then others, some things members of the church say and do really aggregate me and make me regret being in the same religion. But I love my fiance and trust him. This church has helped him so much and I hope that when we are married I will be better at feeling the spirit and seeing God's hand in my life.
Tldr: Investigated for 2.5 years, met with infinitely many missionaries, tried walking to church and got picked up by police, fought with the missionaries, was mature and ran away from my problems, got a boyfriend, got baptized with hopes of the spirit helping me, got engaged, still dont really feel the spirit but am hopeful things will improve when I get married
submitted by JMichelleK to latterdaysaints [link] [comments]


2020.09.07 04:22 throwra52792 I [F] feels so shitty because of what I have done.

I have been dating my boyfriend for over a year. I know deep inside that he’s not someone I want to be with. We are not abusive or anything to each other. I just don’t feel like he loves me even though he said he does. He moved away a couple months ago and we have been doing LD. Honestly long distance is really hard on me. We don’t really FaceTime or call each other. Just mostly texting. I feel so unsure about our relationship during this time and started making an online dating account. I haven’t met anyone on it but I feel so guilty for doing this. I’m not sure if I should tell him. Even though I think I deserve someone better, I feel so shitty because of what I have done.
submitted by throwra52792 to relationship_advice [link] [comments]


2020.09.06 05:00 vozzy717 Took me by surprise

Met a LD online AP a month or so ago. I’m a MM 29, she single 21 was dating someone at the time but soon ended the relationship after we started talking (not bc of me). I was practicing self preservation, lied about some crucial information like my age, name, and relationship status. After talking to each other for a couple hrs our first night, I knew I was in trouble... this women is seriously incredible in every way. Ended it after 2 days since I felt it was already doomed from the beginning since I straight up lied to her. By that time we already had strong feelings for each other. The connection was so strong... We talked for a few more weeks as I summoned up the courage to come out with the truth a little at a time, I was so afraid of losing her. I eventually told her everything, said it doesn’t change anything and that she still has feelings for me. We tried to continue but she wasn’t able to get past knowing she couldn’t have me to herself which I completely understand. Nothing is really wrong in my marriage and wasn’t looking for this connection with someone else but I can’t get over her and sometimes you just find things... It’s been a couple weeks since she ended communication. Both agreed that deep down we know this isn’t the end, I just hope we’re right. Really didn’t want to say goodbye but unconditional love is selfless. Having her stay when she was struggling so much on her end didn’t feel right, as much as I do miss her. Before she left I gave her my information, giving her the option to contact me. I have no way of reaching her (risky but I am just too uninterested in a life without her). Reading everyone’s post has been encouraging tho and I really enjoy this community that has been created out of nothing, keeps me from absolutely breaking down every time I think of her =)
submitted by vozzy717 to adultery [link] [comments]


2020.09.05 21:33 RandysBackup Any modest sites for dating?

Hello everyone,
My mother is a faithful member of your church and she has been for over 20 years or so now. She is very positive, shining and strong, a great mom really. I see that she is trying to find a decent and nice man for years now and here in the local ward there are not really much single men. I told her to look for state activities and she has tried almost every LDS dating app there is online.
I really want to help her because she is just a wonderful and independant person who is ready to find someone to date. So I hope you all know of something online wether is is a forum, dating site, dating app or a way to connect people.
Thanks and have a great evening!
submitted by RandysBackup to lds [link] [comments]


2020.09.02 04:26 Status_Cup Found out she was introducing the guy "I didn't have to worry about" as her boyfriend within 2 weeks after the break up. It's been so hard to not give her a piece of my mind. Staying strong though

My apologies in advance for the lengthy post. I don't expect everyone to read it in its entirety, it's also partly to just vent and finally put it on paper. Additionally I don't want to keep annoying my friends with it, I think sharing with strangers will help it get it off my chest.
Background :
I (29M) moved to another country around 3,5 years ago. Within the first month I ran into her (27F) working at a bar I frequented to meet new people, and her smile immediately knocked me off my feet. It was hard to gauge her interest at first, as a bartender is usually open (/flirty) with most patrons.
However after 6 months, through mutual (new) friends connections, and finally getting to talk to her outside of work, we eventually started dating. Which ended up in a 2,5 year relationship.
After 1,5 years together, I came across a huge career opportunity that had me relocate to another city about 4 hours away. I knew I had to take it. But I was really worried about how it would affect us.
I sat her down proper, before I even took the job, and explained my intentions and how I hated to force her in that position. She was happy for me, and did support me that I should take it. She did express her hesitations about long distance, but we were both really into each other, and wanted to make it work. (In hindsight I probably wanted it more).
For me I didn't even consider it so much long distance. As the public transport in this country is really good, and time wise it wasn't even that long. Totally opposite of living in other countries for example. Plus I head the means and time to come visit frequently. Or help support her to come and visit. Of course the lack of presence and intimacy is still hard, but I was willing to cope with it.
Long distance and COVID19
I moved to the new city in April of 2019. With her being having pressed pause on her education. She moved with me and stayed for about 3 months before school called her and told her she needed to finish in 2020, so she moved back.
I visited for another week in August for her birthday and another week in October for mine. I preferred to go back to her city during these times, as I didnt build up my social circle in my new city. In hindsight, this is something I should have done, but I guess I spent too much time on the relationship and either planning her next visit, or mine. I was mentally still living back there with her.
In November I took her to my home country for the 2nd time, and we spent a lovely 3,5 week vacation during Christmas and New Years. Even took her to London where she always wanted to go.
Coming back home from Christmas, being by myself again. I had a new years resolution to finally get in shape before I turn 30 this October. I have been overweight most of my adult life. I started in January and progress has tremendous. Everytime she commented though that she didnt want me to lose my "fluff" AKA my belly. Which she honestly loved to play with. But I was unhappy about it for a long time, and decided to do it for me (relevant for later)
In February we had another 2 weeks before COVID really hit this country. Then followed the longest stretch of 3 months before I had her travel back here in late May for another 2 weeks, after the restrictions were lifted.
I know LDR's where couples don't see each other for many months. We certainly didn't have it that bad. And I put all my effort into keeping it frequent. As I know she was struggling with it. Many times during our endless calls and texts, she really didn't LDR, and missed me so much.
Last Visit, New guy introduced
The last visit (which I didn't realize it was going to be so at the time) was for about 1,5 weeks. She was super excited to see me when I picked her up at the station, and likewise I was ecstatic to be with her again. We had a great time, lots of dinners / trips / sex / cuddling you name it. She was doing classroom lessons on Zoom, I just hung around the house during those time, and helping her with her homework afterwards. Nowhere was there a reason for me to doubt our relationship at this time, as she certainly didn't show it, it just felt the same as always. As soon as she was back on the train, she already asked me to share all the pictures we took and mentioning already missing being in my arms. I was already planning my next visit for her birthday this past August. Having not been there since last August, also keen to see my friends there again.
She worked the bar the day she got back. And during our call next day, is when his name was dropped the first time. She often shares stories about the bar, so it's nothing new. Many times she mentions people I don't know, since she of course interacts with many people. But there was a comment from her that this guy called her "feisty" and that he "like that type of girl" after she stood up for herself to a rude customer. Something I also admire about her, especially for her countries culture.
Me being curious since I lived there for 2 years, but never heard of this guy (even though apperantly hes been living there for 10yrs), I asked about him. She sents me some instagram pictures (which I now only realize means she was already connected to him on IG). Turns out he was some other foreigner. "Buff" guy with tattoos. Loads of followers (50k). And judging from his Insta BIO he is pretty "sure" of himself. I wont go into detail.
The new Guy
Over the next 2 weeks, during our daily texting and calls she dropped his name a few times.
  1. I ask her about her night. She mentioned there were handsome guys at the bar I ask who. And she says his name. I ask if he was hitting on her again. And she says "nah, not at all. Just watching \muscle emoji** and tattoos" I don't dig further.
  2. Another name drop when I asked about another night she had. And she mentioned it was fun because "this guy and his friend" were singing. So he is hanging out at her bar.
  3. After talking about how long distance sucks. She suddenly asked me what is my type, and to answer honestly. I thought this was really weird. But I am an honest person. So I told her truthfully what I thought my type was when I was single. But how it now doesn't matter and how happy I am where I ended up. Asked her why all of the sudden this question, if it was because of him. And she was like "Yup he is my type lol" But she mentions she got the question posed to her about what my type is and couldn't answer.
  4. She mentions she got invited to a birthday party on Saturday. where this dude was going to be too.
The Breakup
After that Saturday night there was a shift. Her texting was not on point anymore. She didn't respond as much. Only generic stuff. I called her in the evening, and she did pick up but mentions she was hanging out with a good girlfriend of hers. I say OK no problem tomorrow then. Same thing on Monday, but with a different close girlfriend. I couldn't get her time. Called but she was hanging out with her girl. I go to bed and she still messages good night and ILY.
The next day came the dreaded text message. If I had some time to talk. Asked her if something was wrong, and mentioned I was worried. She turns and tells nothing is wrong, but its some of her "shit".
Because she mentioned it was her shit, I still chose to believe it was probably not about us then. Even though I had a long ass day at work, I called her as soon as I got home just before midnight. She picks up, we talk all happy as normal. Then i ask her what was that thing you wanted to talk about.
"I can't do this long distance anymore"
I took a few minutes for it to hit me that it was really going down. I ended it after 30 minutes because I couldn't deal with it, being tired as fuck, in tears and just spiraling. And asked to talk about it tomorrow. She agreed.
However obviously I couldn't sleep. This is where my mind starts racing of course. What happened in those 2 weeks for this sudden change. And I start connecting dots (based on suspiciouns of course) but they seem to fall into place really well. In a weak moment I texted her about an hour after ending the call if something happened on Saturday, with this new guy. She asked why. And I mention how this whole story with him looks like from my side. I didn't accuse her or anything, but the shift was noticable after the Saturday.
Combined with the fact that for the two days after she seemed to have had long talks with her 2 BFFs and I wasn't the priority anymore. It seemed like that's what she discussed with them about. Plus the fact that after contacting them, she didn't waste anymore time on planning this breakup.
She then turned it on me. 'OK now you are doubting me. I didn't do anything wrong, I was talking to my friends about YOU"
I immediately apologized, and thought I really messed things up by saying that. But the weird part was, she immediately accepted the apology. Saying "So sad you're doubting me like that kind of person. But it's ok. I'm sorry too"
To be fair I never ever ever doubted her before. And honestly she was always jealous of other girls who I had 0 interested in. But she heard from people that they liked me. I never acted and even did my best to remove myself from those girls to show that it was nothing to me.
The next days
I didn't sleep. Called off work. Got to her to call me in the afternoon. Was a mess but I wanted to hear why and how. She gave me reasons. But in general it was the lost the butterflies. She likes me but doesn't love me anymore. Long distance was not working out. and other things. I just accepted it, it was hard. But after the 2 hour phone call, I texted to thank her for talking to me.
Told her it was going to be hard for me and difficult to accept, but in the end I respected her decision. That I don't want her to feel bad, and I was going to miss being her partner. Wishing her to feel better about herself and do the things she wants to do.
Had another call the next day. And for some reason among all the things we talk about. Somewhere she mentions she went to lunch with him. I was like really? I am all for hanging out with friends after a breakup and get some support. But why tell me he asked you out for lunch and you went? What is the point. This guy who seemed was only introduced into our lives 2 weeks ago. I didn't even know how to react at the time so I let it slide.
This of course gave me more and more suspicious, but I didn't have any proof.
Following days were extremely hard. She mentioned we can keep eachother on social media. And she updated some story on instagram how "Going to work and healing everyday". I couldn't control myself well, and decided to mute her stories.
I asked about her weekend, and she asked about mine. I replied with "nothing interesting". Then 2 hours later i get a text from her "Still busy??". Nowhere before did I say I was busy. It seemed like this text wasn't meant for me. I should add that the new guys name and my name start with the same 2 letters. This is just an assumption, but I feel like it was meant for him, certainly not for me. When I asked her "Why whats up" she immediately replied with "Nah just wanted to ask how its going". Thats not what she asked though..
I replied immediately if she wanted a call, but she ignored me straight after. I kept checking her IG and saw she was online the whole time, so choosing not to respond. I finally broke down and tried calling her, she just let it ring. Right after I hung up, I checked her online status again, and it was suddenly not visible anymore.
Next day she just mentions she was watching IG live and fell asleep. We called that day, and I told her up front I dont like playing these games, if she doesn't want to talk to me all she has to do is be honest. But don't be flaky and not respond at all. I told her for my benefit I will stop reaching out, because either if she does it on purpose or not, it hurts the same way. This is where I started No contact.
Unfortunately, about a week later, through I mutual connections of IG, I saw the new guy hanging around at her bar on the night she works the bar by herself, which is a Wednesday and is usually really slow. This just made me more and more wary of the new guy.
The Confirmation
The next day a mutual friend of ours. Lets call him 'K', reaches out to me. K has known her for a long time too, and they are (/now were?) close friends. Now K respects me a lot, and he also thought me and my ex made a really great couple. He knows about the breakup, and asks how I am doing. I tell him I wanted to hear what he heard. But immediately he tells me, to tell my side of the story first, then he will tell his.
I explain the whole situation, how after she visited, in the space of 2 weeks, with the new guy introduced, it all went to shit. That I had my suspicions but couldn't confirm anything.
Turns out, he was there that night too, on the Wednesday. Since she worked the bar alone, she invited him to hang out (after not talking to him for about 2 months) because she has "so much to tell him".
There is another backstory here. K hung out with a girl once or twice a few months back. Suddenly she reached out to him after no contacting him since then, if he talked to her boyfriend. He says no, and why suddenly she asked him. Turns out her boyfriend found out about that, and was angry about it.
Back to the Wednesday night, my ex asked if K has heard from me at all. He says no, but then mentions guess who did reach out to me out of the blue. Without hesistation my ex mentions that girl's name. He was very surprised. He asked how did you know that, she mentions well do you know "\New Guy**, well he is my boyfriend"
K was absolutely flabbergasted, and his reaction and the look on his face told it all. He also didn't know the guy. I had to ask K so many times, if that is really what she said. And he confirmed. Even the way she mentioned that line was delivered so casual and happy.
I imagine she didn't get the reaction she was hoping for. And the rest of the night she didn't talk with him much, even though she invited him because "she has so much to tell him".
A little while later, K sees some guy he doesn't know enter the bar, and my ex comes out from behind and gives him a quick hug. Which he also thought was strange. But he just ended up on the corner of the bar, being on his phone most of the time. My ex and him didn't seem to interact much. They weren't introduced.
When I shared the guy's pictures my ex sent earlier to K, he confirmed, yep that's the guy. And then it dawned, that the only reason the other girl contacted him, was because her boyfriend was the same guy. He was in a relationship with her for about 4-5 months, and through contact with my Ex he heard about K and he used it as a reason to break up with the other girl.
Here is the kicker, the other girl told K that he only broke up with her on the Friday after When my ex was already calling him her boyfriend. I felt sick.
Through the other girl, K found out more about this guy. He is 36, (almost 10yrs older than her) divorced with a kid.... One time he went crazy and threatened to call the cops on the other girl because she visited his place of work unannounced. Due to custody rights of the kid (its a whole thing in this country) More through the grapevine I heard that my ex and him were hanging out a lot during the daytime as well. Which was never mentioned to me.
I immediately removed her from IG and Facebook. I felt so betrayed, disrespected, and let down. My friend only heard she was calling him boyfriend 2 weeks after, so it must have been official (in her mind) earlier. I can't see this happening that in the space of 4 weeks after the breakup. Which means the connection was already formed during the first two weeks. And like i mentioned, that Saturday seemed to have been a turning point. I still can't tell if it was physical, but at least something happened that made her turn to her BFF's and come to the conclusion she needed to end it with me 3 days later.
I haven't talked to her since, and No contact is coming up to two months now. Initially, after learning this, it was so hard to not give her a peace of my mind. But I stayed strong, and did not reach out at all.
The desire to reach out comes in waves, pretty much along with the intrusive thoughts. They go hand in hand, and I wonder how she could do that to me. The pain of having to imagine her being close to another guy in only weeks after a 2,5 year relationship is a pain I don't even wish on my worst enemy. Plus the fact that I had pictures of the guy made the images of them being physical so soon after our relationship ended very very hard to cope with. Luckily it's been getting better. But now and then they still pop up. Of course I compared myself to him, and it made me feel inadequate. She always mentioned that she loved my belly, didn't even want me to lose weight. But now she left me for some dude with muscles and tattoos. It feels so superficial all of the sudden.
My reflection
In my time during No contact I had time to have a good look at myself, and her. Here's key points I have found :
Her : - I think she is unhappy/unsure of herself as an individual, and her life - She lives with her mom/brothesister, never lived alone. And has no privacy at home (they sleep in one room) - She still hasn't finished school, and has no direction in her life - When she finishes school (probably this year or early next) I don't think she has what it takes to work a fulltime job. It's not her personality, and judging on her history. For example she only worked 2 days during a week when she had her break from school, even though she needed to earn money. - She is pretty much broke (I even picked up her phone bill last time she was over, and supported her financially in many ways during the relationship, and took her on many trips abroad) -She mentioned before she doesn't necessarily like most colleagues at her bar -She seems to heavily rely on external factors to be happy. And a boyfriend is a big part of that. Unfortunately when we went LD, she lost those boyfriend perks in her daily life. - She reaches out to friends when she needs them
Me : - I realized I was also getting most of my happiness from her - After I moved, my life basically consisted of work, calling with her and some videogames. - I did not build my own life/ social circle in my new city. My head was always back in the other city, with her and my friends there. Just living from one meetup to the next. - I let myself go physically and didn't take that much care of my appearance.
When she was suddenly gone, these factors made me realize I was pretty unhappy by myself. I think she must have picked up on some of these during her last visit (or before)
K mentioned that when he was still in contact with her before, she explained doubts on multiple occasions during the stretch of our LDR. And he truthfully gave her the advice if she really felt that way, she should break up. Which I would have also preferred. But instead she chose to string me along. I felt like I was played for a fool the last time she visited. She never communicated her doubts with me, until it was too late.
TL/DR : It seems my Ex didn't love me for me, but for the boyfriend perks that could supply her with external source of happiness. When we went LD she couldn't cope but was hesitant to end things. When she finally found someone new, she dropped me like a bag of bricks and was in a relationship within 2-3 weeks.
My NC journey thus far
I stayed strong with NC, it's hard at times to not let her know how extremely let down I was by the way she handled things. How she couldn't just end it if she was that unhappy. I appreciate honesty above all else. But I know that no answer or explanation will give me any kind of satisfaction.
I am so grateful I started my weight loss in January already, because the results are coming in around the time of the breakup. Now more than 20kg down! It is really nice to hear everyone around me compliment me on this. I would have been in a much darker place if I was still physically the same during this time. Especially comparing myself to her new guy. I am so glad that I chose to do it for me, and my happiness, even though she always mentioned she didn't want me to lose my "fluff". I think it stems from her being unhappy with her body as well, for instance she always turned the lights of during sex.
I got a new wardrobe to match my new physique, new haircut and putting more effort into my appearance. I feel so much more refreshed. I am keeping my house in check, doing my chores and keeping things clean.
I have been putting a lot of extra effort in at work, through the grapevine I hear I am a good candidate from a promotion next year. Plus I have just been assigned as a key role in a major upcoming project.
I have been going out more, and already made some new connections. I realized how much I have been missing out by not living my life in this new city.
I have once again thrown myself into learning the language of this country. It's difficult but the motivation wave is so strong right now.
K and I have really become closer through this whole ordeal. I really consider him a close friend now. I am so grateful for the countless hours we spent on the phone. He also seems to have distanced himself from my ex, and her actions also made him realize that is not the kind of person he wants to be friends with.
Her birthday came and went this August, and I didn't reach out. For my upcoming birthday in October (the big 3-0) I am planning to visit my friends in the other city. But have no intentions to meetup with my ex, I am going for me.
Once again sorry for the long post. I realize the magnitude of this epic. And I wasn't expecting to go into so much detail. But it felt really good to let it all out.
submitted by Status_Cup to ExNoContact [link] [comments]


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2020.08.23 19:06 Paulw88 I outed a cheater and it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I fear I may have ruined her life but it was weighing too heavy on my conscious.

I loved this woman, like truly loved her. I would have moved mountains for her. I thought I had found my human. I thought she was the woman I was going to spend the rest of my life with. She was the first woman I ever truly loved unconditionally and I think thats why I let so many things go.. (I'll try to keep this as brief as I can)
We dated for about 2 years LD. There were times where she needed space to focus on her graduate degree and she admitted she needed time to heal from a previous LTR that she claimed lasted about 4 years and every time I would always encourage her to continue growing and learning how to do things on her own until we reunited again (it was never more than a couple weeks each time).
That all changed last fall when she ended things with me and I discovered, via Facebook, that they had gotten "back together" and she lied about it. (I always found it strange that I could never find her on FB but we spoke everyday so I never thought anything about it. She had actually blocked me and I made a throwaway account and thats how I discovered everything)
Last winter was really hard.. I am not going to sugar coat it. I had never felt more betrayed in my entire life. My heart was in in shambles.
Then this past year happened and changed my entire image of her. She reached out in January and told me she missed me and still loved me and that she had actually never gotten over me and her relationship with her LTR was falling apart and she wanted to break up with him and was finally ready to start a life with me but would need time after the breakup to heal before beginning again with me... My head was cautious but my heart quickly let her back in because I still loved this woman and wanted it to be her!
That is until about a week goes by and she pulls away again. I am confused and a little hurt and really felt dumb that I let this happen again. Thats when I find out the real reason she left me last winter was because she had found another man online and they got super hot and heavy. I found out about it because he made a public post on her business page. I reached out to him and got to talk to him and it turned out she just copied and pasted a lot of what we talked about in our relationship with him. To be honest I thought I would have been shocked and hurt by finding this all out but I was kind of numb to it at this point but for some reason I still wanted to continue with her because my heart so desperately wanted things to work.
She ends up calling me and confessing everything and then confesses that her and her LTR had actually never broken up and that they had actually been together they entire time and that she is so sorry about what she's put me through and the waterworks and panic attacks were heavy. Over the next month I helped her get the other guy off her back and inform her that she has to come clean to her LTR because it is so so so not fair to him and she agrees but she doesn't want to hurt him because despite their problems she loves him and doesn't want to break him. She also admitted that she cheated before me and got caught. I figured out the timeline and after getting caught she was back online about 5 months later talking to multiple people before she met me...
I know how this sounds and honestly I don't know why I became so attached to her. I think she portrayed the relationship I am so desperately looking for and she ticked all my boxes but the person behind the relationship was not real it was never real and she lied to me the entire time and that had been the biggest mind f**k to me.. Despite telling me her feelings for me were real and she actually did think about us and our future she admitted finally in July 2020 that she shouldn't have kept it going if she knew deep down that nothing was ever going to happen.
7 months after telling her she had to end things with the 6 year LTR they are still together and she told me in July that they were taking about marriage and I just couldn't keep living with this deep guilt that had been building in my conscious so last week I finally did it. I called one of his family members and told her an abridged version of what I knew and told her who I was and gave her my personal contacts because I wanted to talk to the LTR and tell him that I was sorry. Sorry for dating her because I would not have even started something with her if I had known she was in a relationship already. I would have never helped her this past year if I had known she wasn't going to tell him what she did and I just felt like if I had been dating someone for 6 years and for half of that time my significant other was dating other people.. I would want to know. Because it wasn't just 3 people. She might have had a relationship with 3 people but she admitted to talking and sending explicit images to dozens of guys. She claims she does it for validation and needing to feel wanted..
I just feel awful, because I know how betrayed she must feel. I never wanted to hurt her I always wanted to make her feel the best and give her nothing but love and support. I broke the trust I built with her. I know what I did and I know I will never hear from her again. But deep down I am relieved because he knows now and he can make a decision to stay or go based on what he knows now.
I thought I would feel better after doing it and in a way I do feel better because despite everything I was still willing to forgive her and wanting to get back together with her and I think the only way to move on was to burn that bridge. I feel like I can finally move on from this but I think as weird as this sounds she will always had a piece of my heart.
Thank you for listening, I just feel icky by it all but I feel like it was the right thing to do.
My friend told me that if it wasn't me then it was just going to be some other guy when he found out about her and her LTR.
If you've made it this far.. have you outed a cheater? How did it make you feel? Have you been in a situation like mine?
submitted by Paulw88 to survivinginfidelity [link] [comments]


2020.08.19 23:45 AlarmEmergency My (29M) journey discovering my sexuality as an LDS person.

Saw a post a few weeks back where someone shared their story. It was nice to read and feel a little bit of connection with someone who comes from a similar background as me. Especially as people who grew up and are living in an environment where sex and sexuality is not openly discussed (although it does seem like it's beginning to be addressed more, which is great!). This is going to be long, so if you're willing to read I'd appreciate it, but I'll include a TL;DR at the end. I've also broken it into sections:
  1. Growing up (0 - 11yo)
  2. Adolescence (12 - 18yo)
  3. Early College/Mission (19 - 22yo)
  4. Post-Mission Dating (23 - 25yo)
  5. Married (25 - 29yo)
GROWING UP
I was born into the church with two very active parents, and was always very active myself. Always went to church, always participated, etc. From a young age I was always interested in girls- I was the kid that would chase them around on the playground, and got in trouble for kissing girls in the back of the bus in elementary school. Church was (and is) important to me, and I very much wanted to always do the right thing- keeping the commandments and doing good to others.
ADOLESCENCE
Around age 12, I got "the talk" from my dad, who did his best. He answered my awkward questions, explained that puberty was coming, and in (enough) detail how babies were made. I'm sure he turned a little red when I suddenly said, "Wait so you and mom.... ohhhhhhhh... huh." He even gave me a little book to reference if I was ever curious to know more (don't remember the name of it, just remember it was aimed at a pre-teen audience- it was super PG).
My first "real" sexual experience came one night while laying in bed. The details are obviously a bit fuzzy, but I think I was just feeling around down there, realized it felt kind of good, and suddenly it felt REALLY good. I had no idea what had happened and searched the book my dad gave me for answers. There was absolutely nothing about masturbation (and my dad had said nothing about masturbation), so I somehow (hilariously) concluded that I had just experienced a "period." While it felt good, I also felt like I shouldn't talk to anyone about it. So I just sort of continued doing this over many weeks/months..
Less hilarious was what would come next. Soon I had the misfortune of finding some pornography online. I must have recognized that I had a similar reaction to seeing it as with masturbation (I mean my period), but definitely knew I couldn't tell anyone about what I was looking at. So thus began a vicious cycle over the next 6 years, where I would watch porn and masturbate, feel bad, try to stop and repent on my own, be good for a while, then repeat. I also (thankfully) figured out the word I was looking for was "orgasm" and not period. I was also officially taught what pornography was (at church) and how it can impact you negatively, etc. etc. At one point fairly early on, my dad actually found I had been looking at porn. I was absolutely crushed with feeling I had let my parents and the Lord down. My dad was very loving and considerate, which led to a really good talk, but unfortunately months later I was back at it again, but still too scared to talk about it. I also had gotten much better at hiding it, so no one ever found out again.
By 18, I felt like I was living a double life. On one hand, I had developed some pretty intense sexual fantasies, was constantly thinking about sex, and masturbated almost every day. While on the other- everyone knew me as this really happy, overachieving, saint of a boy. Even when I would hook up with girls, I never did anything more than make out- I didn't want to break the Law of Chastity or give myself a bad reputation. I never spoke to the bishop about anything either, because I didn't want my parents to find out when I inevitably wouldn't be able to take the sacrament. So I would just do my best to abstain from masturbation and pornography for as long as I could.
EARLY COLLEGE/MISSION
In the fall I headed off to BYU. People like to rag on BYU for several reasons, but honestly I loved my experience there. One thing that I really liked too was that the pressure to be a "good" Mormon was no longer there since everyone was LDS. I could just do me. I had been on a really good streak of no porn or masturbation, so I was feeling good. Soon after arriving at school, I met this girl and we started dating. I'll oversimplify that relationship for the sake of length. In the first month or so of us dating, I felt like I should tell her about my past with pornography. I told her and she urged me to see the bishop. She had actually been repenting for the past several months because of sexual sins in her past, so it was nice to have someone who could understand where I was coming from. The bishop was great and encouraged me. Since I was already doing my best to abstain, he said I could continue taking the sacrament, and to just check in with him now and then.
I continued to date this girl for many more months. Although I was abstaining from porn and masturbation, and she was repenting for past sexual sins, we both still had very high libidos. Since she had a sexual history, I would often ask her questions about things from the female point of view, and sex was a very normal topic for us to talk about. We also were pretty intense while making out- always skirting the line with where we kissed and put our hands. Then after being apart for Christmas break, we came back to school ready to rip each other's clothes off... which is what we did, almost.
We were making out in the back of my car, I took her top off, and she started going down on me. Just before she took my pants off, she stopped and said, "What are we doing?" We both snapped out of it, drove back, met with the bishop the next day, set boundaries and continued on. I learned a lot and felt like I am a better person now. We eventually broke up because I was leaving on my mission.
My mission was a great experience, and apart from masturbating once, there was really nothing else that happened. I didn't tell my mission president or anything- I felt like as long as it didn't become a regular thing, I didn't really need to confess it. Of course, as you can imagine, I came back ready to date, and after many first dates, eventually started dating my next girlfriend.
POST-MISSION DATING
This girl was completely different than my first. She had never had a boyfriend before, let alone kissed a guy. So I was more than happy to show her the ropes. It also turned out that she was definitely high libido, and was very curious about sex. Slowly but surely it became an easy topic to discuss, and she would ask me things all the time. "How do guys hide their dick? A penis can DOUBLE in size when it gets hard?" Making out was also getting more intense, with us kissing and touching each other pretty much everywhere without touching our privates. She would often comment on my erection through my shorts, and at times would even say things like, "oh man, what I would do to put that in my mouth right now!" Needless to say, the sexual tension was high. But we wanted to be good and obey the commandments, so we would always cut things off before going too far. As you can imagine, I started masturbating more during this time- always getting that wound up and never being able to do anything about it was incredibly frustrating and I struggled to overcome it. Eventually though, we couldn't help ourselves. We were making out and slowly pushed things more and more, until my pants were off and she was starting to go down on me. I don't know if it was flashbacks to my first girlfriend or what, but a few seconds after her mouth started doing its thing, I stopped her and said, "wait what are we doing?" A similar scene then ensued. We both felt terrible for pushing it too far, we met with the bishop, set new boundaries for ourselves, and committed to being better. We continued dating for about 6 months, but eventually broke up for other reasons.
Masturbation had pretty much become a regular thing at this point, and my self esteem was really at an all time low (mainly due to other factors of the relationship). I met with my bishop, who was awesome, and he encouraged me. I admitted that I had been struggling with masturbation, but was trying to stop. He told me to keep doing my best, didn't feel like I needed to stop taking the sacrament, and encouraged me to check in now and then. Over the next year or so I became the absolute best person I could be. I felt like the king of the world and finally felt like I had gotten a good idea of who I was and what I wanted out of life. I was still a very active member of the church, fulfilled my callings and had a really strong testimony.
During this time I was reflecting on my past mistakes and relationships. Considering these relationships, I noticed a common thread. I would let sex and talking about being sexual become way too commonplace. I also would let myself get way too intense while making out. So I decided that whoever I dated next, I would just avoid these things altogether. There was no need to talk about sex, because as my past two relationships had proven, girls love sex just as much as guys, and if I get too intense physically, I'll get myself in trouble. So it was foolproof- focus on all the other aspects of a relationship before marriage, then once we're married we can enjoy all the aspects of sex without fear of making a mistake.
I'm sure you can imagine how that has gone.
MARRIED
I soon met the girl who would become my wife. From the day I met her I was enamored, and every time I spent time with her, it was time spent confirming that she was the girl for me. My wife and I had a great time dating, got engaged, and were married. Not once did we ever have a serious conversation about sex, at least not really about US having sex. We did talk about a few things in the weeks leading up to our wedding. Like how someone had given her a "sex position" deck as a bachelorette gift, how her cousin recommended we get lube for the first time, and whether or not she was going to take the pill (she was terrible at remembering to take it consistently so we opted for condoms). One thing we did decide though (and I would actually recommend this to people), was that we weren't necessarily going to have sex on our wedding night. We knew it would be a stressful day, we might be tired, we might be wanting to sleep in order to catch our flight the next day, etc.
On our wedding night she put on some lingerie and we made out. I took her top off and played with/kissed her boobs, and then we went to sleep. She was too nervous to touch my penis. The next morning we tried having sex, which was really painful for her. We tried a few more times, used lots of lube, had lots of foreplay and it was still pretty painful for her. She then went into the bathroom and reported she was bleeding a little bit. That night we tried to have sex again with her on top- bingo! Everything worked like it should. I got a couple pumps in and came. What a glorious 10 seconds. In my mind, I thought this would be the breaking point where sex starts to become a regular thing and we'd go on our merry way with our happy healthy sex lives. I'm going to reeaaaaalllly summarize the next 4 years as this post is already entirely too long, but here is how things have gone.
As the months passed following our honeymoon, it turned out that my wife was actually totally freaked out by sex. Her whole life no one talked about it, and it was always something shameful. She had never masturbated or explored her body in that way. Sex felt like a chore, and she felt guilty any time we would do it. She would feel bad because she knew I liked it and wanted it, but I never felt great about pity sex either. If I ever tried to initiate it, she always would tell me "it was too late, she's not in the mood, it takes too long to clean up, etc." So I stopped initiating altogether. Thus the only times we would have sex was when she would initiate, which she would try to do on my behalf. So ultimately we were having sex about once every 2 months or so.
The thing is though, it's not that she doesn't enjoy sex- she does. There are many times where we would have sex where she'd say "why don't we do this all the time? You just blew my mind, that was amazing," etc. It's that ramp up to sex and the feeling afterwards that would always get in her way.
In the last few months though, things are starting to look up. We've been talking about it more, and I understand her side of things much better than before. We've been having positive conversations about it, and I'm helping her to understand my needs better (which I have always been bad at communicating). So while our sex life is still not as thriving as I hoped it would be, she is putting in the effort to try and be more understanding and open to learning new things. I think it will be a slooooowwww process, but as long as we're making progress I'm happy.
And we're both still very active members of the church. I have masturbated a little bit over the course of our marriage, but am trying to avoid doing so. I usually go to perverse places, and feel bad about myself. Anyway, if you read all of that, thanks for listening! It helps to get it all off my chest, and hope it can help someone else in some way. I could have problem written 10x more than what's here to tell the full story, but this is already enough. Let's chat in the comments!
---
TL;DR: Active member of the church, struggled with porn and masturbation as a youth. Dated 2 girls in college and broke the law of chastity with both and repented. Assumed it meant all women like sex so I decided not to talk about sex with my future girlfriends to avoid breaking the law of chastity again. Married my next girlfriend and it turns out she is low libido and not nearly as interested in sex as I'd hoped. Sex life was nearly non-existent for the first 3.5 years of marriage, but positive communication is starting to show an improvement. Both of us are still very active, masturbation is sometimes still a struggle, but coping with it very well.
submitted by AlarmEmergency to ldssexuality [link] [comments]


2020.08.17 05:31 nostalgiaisunfair Is it weird that I appreciate that my brothers and dude friends would murder another dude if he hurt me? (They wouldn’t actually but they sure would beat him tf up, the sentiment though is where I’m coming from)

Two years ago a dude I was seeing (secretly) threatened to kill me, and he would have done it he was insane but I was stupid and thought he wouldn’t bc i was dIfFeReNt hE wOuLdNt dO tHaT tO mE. My parents are super strict and against me dating, so i couldnt tell them but I was terrified literally for my life and I ended up telling my brothers (who are both giants and play bball) and they both went to HS w him so they could keep an eye on him and make sure he never got close to me again. I told my dude friends too and they all said they would murder him if he touched me or even got near me and I cried so hard because I actually felt safe. I stayed at home as much as possible and disappeared online and I hoped That Guy would just move tf on (he did thank GOD). I told a friend recently (ive kept this quiet for mf ever because it traumatized me for good from men, but also bc i was so stupid i didnt trust myself to make good choices or see clearly) She was supportive but she was thrown off by how I was happy that my brothers and dude friends were ready to brawl and murder this man. I didnt think it was weird at all I knew they wouldnt NEED to but if it got down to it happening im not sure what wouldve happened. Im glad it didnt but i feel like they WOULD have got in a huge fight best case scenario. I just cried at the sentiment that they would fight that hard for me and that they cared that much, enough to sacrifice so much for me. I was really scared lmao. Anyways is that weird?
Dudes would you do that, Gals is my friend right.
submitted by nostalgiaisunfair to AskTeenGirls [link] [comments]


2020.08.16 16:15 oh-oh-livinonaprayer Helpful guide on Christian designations, denominations, and categorizations (Fundie vs. Fundie-lite vs. Conservative vs. Progressive vs. Liberal)

A few disclaimers:
  1. While this post has been mod-approved, it is NOT meant to be authoritatively true NOR is it reflective of all members or mods of this sub.
  2. These categories are the opinion of the author (not a mod) and the author alone
  3. Each person has their individual faith background, and may not fall completely into any category perfectly. This is a spectrum, not boxes.
Where this information comes from: my personal knowledge and studies from within fundamentalism:
FUNDIE:
FUNDIE-LITE:
Mainline Protestant Christian:
Conservative Christian:
Progressive Christian:
Liberal Christian:
Outliers & Not-Covereds:
Note from u/sassiestpants: "Catholics are Christian, and identify themselves as the 'original' Christians. Catholic leadership traces itself back to Peter the Apostle. Almost all non-Roman Catholic Christian denominations were originally derived from Roman Catholicism."
submitted by oh-oh-livinonaprayer to FundieSnark [link] [comments]


2020.08.16 16:14 oh-oh-livinonaprayer {REPOSTING DUE TO EDITS & FEEDBACK} Helpful guide on Christian designations, denominations, and categorizations (Fundie vs. Fundie-lite vs. Conservative vs. Progressive vs. Liberal)

A few disclaimers:
  1. While this post has been mod-approved, it is NOT meant to be authoritatively true NOR is it reflective of all members or mods of this sub.
  2. These categories are the opinion of the author (not a mod) and the author alone
  3. Each person has their individual faith background, and may not fall completely into any category perfectly. This is a spectrum, not boxes.
Where this information comes from my personal knowledge and studies from within fundamentalism:
FUNDIE:
FUNDIE-LITE:
Mainline Protestant Christian:
Conservative Christian:
Progressive Christian:
Liberal Christian:
Outliers & Not-Covereds:
Edit: Note from u/sassiestpants:
"Catholics are Christian, and identify themselves as the 'original' Christians. Catholic leadership traces itself back to Peter the Apostle. Almost all non-Roman Catholic Christian denominations were originally derived from Roman Catholicism."
submitted by oh-oh-livinonaprayer to DuggarsSnark [link] [comments]


2020.08.15 00:44 _onerous_child_ Can marijuana help with depression?

Many people report that it helps. It has helped me. I wouldn’t say it cures it though. It is more an ongoing treatment option. This is a hard one to answer as it depends on the country. In countries in which it is legal, doctors prescribe it for depression. In countries where it is not legal, doctors would’t ever prescribe it. In reality, it either helps some people or it doesn’t. The same as all medications. Of course prescribing doctors would agree with this. It helps some and not others. Doctors not legally able to prescribe it would say it helps none and it makes it worse. So the legal status of cannabis brings various doctors into direct dispute.
My belief about cannabis, based upon 14 years of on and off use. s is that most of the negative information on it is misinformation and the result of a large and well funded propaganda campaign. It was first banned for financial competition based reasons, coupled with overtly racist scapegoating. Many are uneducated about this, and of how hemp/cannabis threatened the paper industry before it was outlawed and its harms were concocted then to justify its ban. I remember when people would still claim it could have a lethal overdose. Yet could not state its LD-50. People who were intelligent enough to have researched this to check but they just tended to just accept the propaganda as fact. More money has been spent trying to find something wrong with it than almost any other substance. What they found was very flimsy compared to say or heroin or amphetamine. Although, lets not forget they are pharmaceuticals. Cannabis is herbal.
They did create a synthetic cannabis, but its side effects were worse than the herbal form as it was a pharmaceutical. I find that quite amusing. Cannabis is a very unique plant with a history of human use dating back thousands of years. It is not the alien subject to the human body people claim it to be. Our bodies store it for extended periods, particularly within fat cells. Whereas the more toxic pharmaceuticals are expelled in 1–3 days, cannabis can remain stored in the body for 30 days, or even longer with higher body fat. The body clearly does not regard it as a toxic poison. It slots into cannabinoid receptors in the body. The body produces its own endocannabinoids, a fact some struggle to integrate. This is present in all vertebrates and regulates our mood, happiness, fear, anxiety, appetite and stress response. Anandamide, one of these cannabinoids is thought by science to result in increased happiness, the higher the levels. It is also called the bodies own antidepressant.
If it wasn’t for THC, anandamide would probably have not been discovered. As it was discovered when realizing that THC slots perfectly into receptors in our brain and nervous system, meaning, like with opioids. Which means in some this may be dysfunctional. Whereas we still place the blame of depression squarely on the shoulders of serotonin. However this is clearly not the case then, as bipolar for example does not respond to antidepressants. Although they are still used in some cases and cannabis would be attacked by many for treating bipolar. We will see. I will test it on myself, using CBD, the part which doesn’t get you high.
I remember the experiment which reported to show brain damage from cannabis use. They forced monkeys to inhale it via gas masks, hardly the normal method. (Although people have since emulated it). They then tested the monkeys when they were higher than Mt Everest, and found signs of brain damage. What they do not mention when quoting this experiment as proving cannabis caused brain damage is how they all returned to normal after with no signs of brain damage. As it served the agenda to have people believe it caused permanent brain damage, they presented it as such. Whereas alcohol does cause brain damage. The paranoia of cannabis seems to also effect those who have never taken it, or those who had a bad experience in the past blame cannabis for creating paranoia and they scapegoat their repressed paranoia onto cannabis. Not being self aware enough to realise that paranoia is a type of irrational fear that exists within the human psyche. Cannabis does not cause paranoia in my opinion, but it can cause paranoia and fear to be expressed from within the psyche, if it is not well adapted and it existed there anyway.
The same with mental illness. They say it can cause a mental illness that was latent, to express itself. Sounds like it is describing a mental illness that is being repressed, and how sudden awareness causes it to be forced into the light. Why is this a bad thing? If someone did have a latent mental illness, wouldn’t bringing it into awareness and treating it be the general idea? Or is mental illness now suddenly cured if it remains latent? Is repression the goal? If cannabis can bring to the fore a mental illness, why isn’t this studied to see if the reverse can be achieved? Is there any evidence to suggest that cannabis activates dormant mental illness? Or is it just more propaganda without any evidence We do not understand how cannabis is linked to mental illness. It is a chicken and the egg scenario. Does it cause it, or does mental illness cause cannabis use to become more likely? It seems more likely that cannabis, like other more potent psychedelics, forces one to examine the contents of their psyche. A terrifying concept to most people who do not want their illusions destroyed. Bob Marley said cannabis reveals you to yourself. Cannabis does alter consciousness. They also say you cannot solve a problem with the same consciousness that created it
It is a stupid statement to suggest cannabis creates paranoia where it doesn’t exist. As if somewhere in the plant is contained paranoia, that if ingested, causes paranoia. In reality it merely reveals the skeletons in the closet of the psyche people would rather pretend are not there. It is easier to blame it as the scapegoat, than to look within as to why it was able to bring out this type of irrational fear. As plenty of people do not get this from cannabis. Yet many people believe someone should be locked in prison for simply using it and families should be torn apart for this. While they knock back a few beers. The paranoia against cannabis is insidious. You still hear the claim cannabis can kill by overdose, despite it being debunked. So this is a paranoid claim about cannabis, not based in reality or supported by science. This suggests propaganda and societies double standards and judgmental condemnation causes the paranoia.
Yet alcohol is proven to be in the system of many murderers and plays a role in a huge percentage of crime. Alcohol also causes a worse type of paranoia to emerge in many users than cannabis, Is it cannabis users who stumble outside of pubs asking random passers by “Are you looking at me? Whats your problem?” This is alcohol induced paranoia, which is far more common. Cannabis paranoia is usually passive and introspective, blaming the self. Alcohol paranoia is active and extroverted, blaming others.
Can you see all the chaos the potheads cause in the town centers on a Friday and Saturday night?
However it is worth looking beneath the surface here and breaking down cannabis into its two main component parts. It appears, that for many it is actually CBD that is having the more positive effect and not the THC. This would make sense as CBD works for epilepsy and gabapentin is a medication that works on the same part of the brain and is also reported to improve depression/anxiety. CBD and gabapentin or lamotrigine can be used as mood stabilizers in bipolar disorder as mood stabilizers used in epilepsy are used off label in bipolar.
I actually plan to experiment with CBD as my sole treatment for Bipolar II and will likely log this online when I do. As it will address depression, anxiety, mood stabilization and anti-psychotic, all in one substance, Instead of a “dribble and twitch cocktal” I am just dealing with some circumstantial stress factors first before I do this to get a better baseline. With modafinil being used alongside it for the ADHD element. I plan to chart the effect of this on my conditions. This is because CBD also has anti psychotic effects but without the powerful and sedating effects of pharmaceutical anti-psychotics. The pharma ones slaughter creativity in my experience. I do not need anti-psychotics with type II bipolar anyway, but many psychiatrists will still prescribe anti psychotics it in type II with no psychosis from the belief it can control the mood swings. Any sedative will dampen the mood swings and I don’t think such powerful sedatives are warranted in type II. . So I will soon be embarking on my own full trial of CBD to treat bipolar as CBD does not provide the same high as THC, or pharmaceutical psychoactive drugs.
It should prove safer than the pharma cocktails that do cause definite brain cell death at a staggering rate as well as organ damage and the potential for life threatening reactions.
The problem with smoking cannabis is that due to the illegality in most areas, you have very little choice of the type obtained, and therefore the cannabinoid profile is often random and keeps changing as the source resupplies. We do not usually consume alcohol under such random conditions. If we did it would be far more unpredictable also. The fact many anti-weed experts never factor this in shows they are unable to account for this variable. Often under these circumstances of prohibition the type of street cannabis will be very high in THC and usually low in CBD.
If you are experiencing anxiety from cannabis, this is from the THC being too high with not enough CBD. There are strains of cannabis which do not do this. They are usually higher or more balanced in CBD which mitigates this effect. You could also acquire CBD if it is legal. In the UK THC is still illegal, although CBD has been legalized as it is proven to be effective. So if you do want to smoke cannabis, having some CBD on hand could well prevent the anxiety by balancing out the THC to CBD ratio as you can pre-load with the CBD beforehand.
THC and CBD could be compared, at least somewhat to the caffeine and taurine combination. You often find taurine combined with caffeine as in energy drinks. This is to mitigate the anxiety causing effect of caffeine stimulation. So this is not unprecedented.
To share a personal story of how much of a difference this can make, I will share my experience of when I visited Amsterdam. I visited to see what it was like to be in a country that more compassionate and humane in its treatment of cannabis users. This was when other nations were attempting to force the Dutch to ban tourists from smoking it when visiting. This never passed due to being discriminatory but it motivated my visit as I was worried the Dutch would bow down to the world pressure. Most nations are anti cannabis with an almost fascistic fervor so it was very refreshing to see what would happen if it was handled another way. After visiting I realized the Dutch just happen to be more mature, civilized and sophisticated in this area, and it clearly did not result in a descent into madness and the ruination of society as some would predict. So, emboldened by this acceptance. I made the mistake when having my first smoke in a coffee shop, of picking the highest THC strain they had. Needless to say, after finishing one smoke I was overcome with anxiety and had to evacuate to my rented apartment until it wore off. I had smoked a THC heavy indica strain. This stuff is narcotic and really probably best suited to those in extreme pain or with insomnia. The anxiety was brought on by the fact I was so stoned I needed to lay down and not speak for some time until returned from the deeply sedative state.
However, I didn’t want to look like some lightweight amateur and make a rapid exit from the shop like some stereotypical British tourist. So really the anxiety was a product of my own ego attempting to present a certain image. Cannabis, and high THC especially messes with the ego, like a trickster. This is why many cannot handle it as it will force a reckoning of your fears and anxieties almost as par for the course when THC is high. It is a psychedelic after all, even if less so than say mushrooms or LSD. Some people cannot handle having the ego be dissolved, and others benefit immensely from accepting and embracing it.
As another point, it never ceases to amaze and amuse me when someone new to cannabis decides they will try eating it before they smoke it. Not knowing eating it makes the THC get converted by the liver into something three times as potent and more psychedelic. So they think they are dipping a toe in, when in reality they just dove off the top diving board most experienced stoners would rarely do without clearing the schedule for the rest of the day, and the next one ideally. Eating it also increases the duration massively. As if that wasn’t enough, this has not even factored in the time dilation that accompanies the more psychedelic experience. People who have never experienced time dilation are often terrified by experiencing it, especially if having a bad trip. This is the core component of the bad mushroom trip or acid trip and you can think it will never end with time passing so slowly. People do not understand or believe how subjective time is on these substances and those who cannot accept this new experience of time dilation will have a very bad time and can experience mental health issues from being unable to accept such a shift in perceptions. Hence the advisory warnings to go with it, and not fight it. It is not for the rigid, close minded types. Stick to what you know. Do not dive into the unknown. Only the open minded can contain these experiences without being harmed.
So, back to the coffee shop in Amsterdam. I blasted off into the stratosphere unintentionally and had retreated to the apartment and remained laying down until I had recovered enough to try again, with a different approach. When I ventured out again, I moved over to sativa, the more CBD rich and lower THC strain of the plant. (I am sure the ratio of the two is relevant here also, not necessarily overall content of either). I had no problem with anxiety when I did this and was able to smoke large amounts throughout my trip. Which then initiated the classic Amsterdam coffee shop crawl! Far better than a pub crawl which usually ends with literal crawling to a toilet which you then become friends with for a few hours.
This type of cannabis is stimulating and produces a high, more than the lower stoned feeling. Full availability of cannabis can allow for people to make the right choice for them and the circumstances., This uplifting cannabis can be called the getting-shit-done-weed. As opposed to the no-shit-is-getting-done-weed. I would then smoke some indica in the evening to put me to sleep, only to wake and bake with the sativa for the duration of the trip. After all, when in Amsterdam. Another strange experience of cannabis in Amsterdam was how I never experienced paranoia while on cannabis in that city, or the country in general. Anxiety yes, but not paranoia. Probably as I was not going to be potentially arrested for being stoned in Amsterdam. Funny that. It almost seemed as if lack of plant based persecution made paranoia absent. In the illegal countries paranoia is the main side effect that is used to deter anyone from using it. This may just be me however , I am sure there are some people with paranoia, that cannabis makes worse in countries in which it is legal. Just for me at least, without threat of arrest or the criminal label, I was free from paranoia.
In countries in which cannabis is illegal, it is similar to having alcohol prohibition. You may want a pint of lager. Unfortunately I only have a pint of brandy available sir, so do you want it or not? If there is no other choice what are you going to do? Probably take the pint of brandy and end up drinking too much if you wanted to consume a pint. Overdosing on any drug causes you to pay the price. The alcohol price can be as high as death. Cannabis overdose however, makes you pay all your dues via psychological distress which can sometimes feel like impending death, It seems CBD is the balancing factor to this. Meaning that the negative side effects seem to come from more of a specific THC overdose.
So if considering cannabis for depression. It would be wise to either start with CBD, or have some CBD on hand to modulate. THC is not all it is cracked up to be, and it seems the crown of best cannabinoid may well have to go to CBD overall, although THC does have medical uses too they are also usually covered by CBD. The following image shows it is only really appetite stimulation that THC alone is good for. Its others benefits also exist with CBD alone or when combined with CBD.
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2020.08.09 02:24 TrollBond Dating in Utah

I'm not an ex-Mormon, because I wasn't an LDS in the first place. I was born as a Hindu (now agnostic) in India, grew up there all my life, recently moved to Utah for my job. I’ve found that dating in this state to be extremely difficult if you're not an active LDS person.
I get that people have preferences and all that. It just sucks to feel unwanted or undesirable just because you don’t belong to a certain religion. India is full of religious bigots, and I thought it'd be different in a developed country. It is important for people to have their belief in someplace, but it feels weird when 90% of the online profiles use it to filtediscard people from their life.
I have nothing against LDS folks. One of my best friends is Mormon. I don't have a victim mentality. But it is frustrating and sometimes infuriating to know how divisive the religion really is. My intention is not to bash anything. I'm not seeking dating advice either. I just want to share my observation and want to know if any other religious/racial minority (based on statistics - not in a political sense) feels the same way about Utah.
Edit: Fixed a typo that was saying 'LSD' (that would explain it actually).
submitted by TrollBond to exmormon [link] [comments]


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